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People don't turn down money. It's what separates us from the animals.


  I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?


Dogs want to be people. That's what their lives are about. They don't like being a dog. They're with people all the time, they want to graduate. My dog would sit there all day, he would watch me walk by, he would think to himself, I COULD DO THAT! HE'S NOT THAT GOOD.




"Rock climbing? Hehe.. where do you come off going rock climbing.. rock climbing? You need a boost to climb into your bed." 


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"I'll sniff out a deal. I have a sixth sense."
"Cheapness is not a sense."
 George and Jerry


Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!



The dryer is their only chance to escape and they all know it. They plan it in the hamper the night before. "Tomorrow, the dryer. I'm going."

Jerry on socks


Elaine: From a distance, you seem to be coming on to her.
Jerry: I'm a guy. It always seems like that.


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